WIP report: 3 May 2021
May. 3rd, 2021 06:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sleeplesspotatoDelayed post by a day, was too sleep-depped to focus. :( I was able to write, though, in spite of how I've been stumbling over the current scene in my Buddha Cafe fanfic.
It's partly that I'm not trans, and I haven't been able to find a sensitivity reader yet -- maybe this is just not a story that I can or should write, even if I feel like I'm writing from a similar place of vulnerability. It's partly that I haven't worked a retail job before so there are a lot of details missing from my mental image of it (which mostly consists of what I've seen in media and other people's complaints about what it's like). It's partly that I'm unable to stick to an outline; I write like a clumsy person trying to find their way through an unfamiliar forest at night, with all the ensuing blundering around and doubling back. It's partly that I just want to get my ship together at the end, and I haven't figured out a way to do that that makes sense.
My stories and characters all have their own lives, and mostly I'm just along for the ride. Sometimes I realize that what they do isn't really suitable for a cohesive narrative. When I try to force them to do what I want, they die, or turn into something else entirely. If I'm the deity of my own worlds, I'm quite incompetent at imposing my will on my subjects.
Nevertheless I keep going back to it because I can't go without for too long. Some stories just need longer to finish fermenting in the back of my mind; sometimes I need to change my point of view, and that takes a while. I don't know if this second draft will be ready for a beta (if I ever find one) by the time I finish it, but I can probably keep going until I reach that point, even if it takes longer than I thought.
---
Btw I'm jonesing to get started on one of my Omegaverse plotbunnies, either the KakaIru one or the KibaShino one. Maybe I should -- they're somewhat clearer in my mind than the Buddha Cafe fic -- though maybe I should finish the Buddha Cafe draft before starting another one. I'm guilty of starting a lot of different things and finishing only a tiny fraction of them; I want to break that pattern as often as possible.
It's partly that I'm not trans, and I haven't been able to find a sensitivity reader yet -- maybe this is just not a story that I can or should write, even if I feel like I'm writing from a similar place of vulnerability. It's partly that I haven't worked a retail job before so there are a lot of details missing from my mental image of it (which mostly consists of what I've seen in media and other people's complaints about what it's like). It's partly that I'm unable to stick to an outline; I write like a clumsy person trying to find their way through an unfamiliar forest at night, with all the ensuing blundering around and doubling back. It's partly that I just want to get my ship together at the end, and I haven't figured out a way to do that that makes sense.
My stories and characters all have their own lives, and mostly I'm just along for the ride. Sometimes I realize that what they do isn't really suitable for a cohesive narrative. When I try to force them to do what I want, they die, or turn into something else entirely. If I'm the deity of my own worlds, I'm quite incompetent at imposing my will on my subjects.
Nevertheless I keep going back to it because I can't go without for too long. Some stories just need longer to finish fermenting in the back of my mind; sometimes I need to change my point of view, and that takes a while. I don't know if this second draft will be ready for a beta (if I ever find one) by the time I finish it, but I can probably keep going until I reach that point, even if it takes longer than I thought.
---
Btw I'm jonesing to get started on one of my Omegaverse plotbunnies, either the KakaIru one or the KibaShino one. Maybe I should -- they're somewhat clearer in my mind than the Buddha Cafe fic -- though maybe I should finish the Buddha Cafe draft before starting another one. I'm guilty of starting a lot of different things and finishing only a tiny fraction of them; I want to break that pattern as often as possible.
